After seeing what I used to be compared to what I am today...I fell apart. Had a breakdown. I literally LOST IT the other night at BodyBack. I was trying so hard to stay focused -- exercise the negativity away -- stay strong...but I failed. I cried through the entire workout. I kept my sunglasses on after the sun went down, because I couldn't pull it together. I just kept seeing pics like this flashing in my mind...
I saw pictures of a happy, healthy young bride...a glowing new mom...fresh, energetic...smiling.
A different girl.
I also found pictures of my babies. My sweet babies! Like this one of Sugar, taken shortly before her diagnosis...
Ahhhh...it felt good to look at them.
To hold them, and think about those precious days that have come and gone. I could tell who was who right away. The memories. The moments.
For the record, I'm feeling better. This time of year just rattles my emotions. I used to feel bad about that, but I don't anymore. It is what it is. I'll embrace all of the emotions that come on this journey. There are some I'd like to minimize, but they're all part of the ride. I'm okay with that.
Before I go, I wanted to play a little game. WHO IS WHO? Can you match the right baby to the right Rosebud?
Give it your best shot!
PS -- Yes, everyone came home wearing the same little yellow duckie nightgown :)