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Monday, July 25, 2011

There Was Joy

Six years ago, today, I sat in the PICU, listening to beeps and buzzes, staring in shock at my sleeping child.

My sleeping child with type 1 diabetes.

July 25, 2005 was a Monday.

In the time since, I've found myself trapped in periods of isolation, defeat, and grief...longing for the carefree days of date nights, meals without measuring carbohydrates, and free from the constant threat of low blood sugar.

As the years have passed, I'm noticing those moments drift further apart...but, admittedly, they still creep in from time to time.

It's in those dark hours that I must remind myself of precious moments.

When I find myself wishing away diabetes, I'm wasting precious moments.  Precious moments that can't ever be reclaimed.  Precious moments that would already be lost, if she hadn't survived her diagnosis.

That pit steals my joy.

At the end of the day, sitting at the bottom of the pit, and hiding in the corner of darkness, there's a very real truth that I must remind myself:

My daughter is alive.

I used to think that every July 25th to come would be a reminder of one of the worst days of my life.

I don't believe that any longer.

July 25th is the day our precious moments were saved.

Because, the reality is that she would have been dead on July 26th.

It's the day we were given our life back.  Albeit different.  Challenging.  Frustrating at times.

But, even still, our family was rescued.

And I'm grateful for it.  Grateful to God.  Grateful for insulin.  Grateful for life.

So, how do you celebrate another healthy year, full of precious moments?

We have created the tradition of having ice cream for lunch every year, on July 25th.

But, today, that wasn't all!

Today there was also a birthday party.

A MAD SCIENTIST birthday party where...the kids decorated and wore "lab coats" (white t-shirts cut open in the front), there were exploding, messy science projects, and various sodas waiting to be mixed together and poured into test tubes before drinking.  There was pizza, and cupcakes, and a candy buffet to mix and match.  

She was there, in the mix of all of it.  

Hot fudge on her sundae, and all.

All the while, I wondered how such a day would end...  

Yes, my friends.

There was joy.

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  1. Congrats on 6 healthy years and to Sugar's life being saved!

    Love the celebration!

  2. Happy Dia-versary! Last year, I think we celebrated Lily's with cupcakes. I'm thinking I will probably do that again this year. Remembering the diagnosis does bring some sadness, but it's also a time to be grateful for everything that's happened since diagnosis. Without diabetes, insulin, etc., all those moments since wouldn't have happened! Love you, Wendy!

  3. Happy Diaversary!! Its exactly how I've started to look at it. No matter how hard the day is to relive..our babies were saved!

    Beautiful post and love those faces!

  4. We are still here thanks to insulin.
    it still sucks, OFTEN. But due to education and smart Dmamas like you, the diabetics continue to thrive.

  5. What a great celebration of life! I love marking our miracle day too! Thanks for sharing this post, Wendy.

  6. What a great way to end the day. Happy D-aversary :) What a cool party btw!

  7. excellent perspective, and it looks like a way fun party! :)

  8. sweet! I love when it all just works. Happy Anniversary...such a day to celebrate indeed!

  9. I went from tears to smiles in the same post! I love how you celebrate and how you look at this day! And I really love how it ended!!

  10. Happy Diaversary! What a GREAT way to celebrate! We take the same perspective in our house too and look at it from a positive point of view!

  11. Wishing you and Sugar many more years of joy and good health!!!!

    I wish our kids didn't have this blasted disease, but I'm grateful that D brought us together. So grateful for your friendship!!!!


  12. ice cream for lunch :) (take that Wendell!)

  13. You is funny how our feelings re: "D" Day evolve and change with time. I am feeling quite similar to you as we approach Joe's 5th year.

    The party looked like a blast...AND THERE IS PURE JOY in that number!!! xo

  14. I wanted to scream with joy for you when I saw that beautiful 94!!!

    What a wonderful way to look at it Wendy, we really are grateful for the things we do have, aren't we. Thanks for the reminder of how lucky and precious this life truly is.

  15. There is so much I love about you - but today what I love most is your ability to find the positive!!!! I'm raising my glass in a toast to JOY!

  16. What a great day --- I'm totally coming to your house on 7/25 next year. I like hot fudge on my sundae with extra whipped cream. So does Nate.

    I love how positive you are ---- such a beautiful inspiration. Happy Diaversary!


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While I'm happy to share our experiences with what works, and what doesn't work, for the management of Type 1 Diabetes and Celiac Disease in our house, please do not mistake anything you read here for medical advice. Decisions regarding your/your child's health care should be made only with the assistance of your medical care team. Use any information from this blog at your own risk.