Baby Steps

We're going to a potluck tonight.

I'm bringing some home made gluten-free baked macaroni and cheese.

What?

Oh.

That.

Yeah...umm...let me rephrase:  I'm bringing along a pan of home made gluten-free mac-n-cheese, minus one corner.

You see, I prepared it yesterday so all I would need to do is pop it in the oven before the party starts this evening.

Then I went to pick up the girls from school.

As we were leaving, I noticed a friend of Sugar's flagging us down, so I pulled over.  Her grandmother walked up to my window and asked if Sugar could come play for the afternoon. Sugar, of course, IMMEDIATELY perked up and began nodding her head while excitedly stomping her feet.

Smile, Wendy.  You've been caught off guard, but don't let your fear show.  Just keep smiling.

"Oh.  Ummm.  Well.  I suppose that would be fine.  Can you follow us back to the house so I can check her blood sugar first?"

"Sure.  And I'll only be about 20 minutes away, so it's not too far."

Is it me, or is the world moving in slow motion?  Did I just agree to let my daughter go to this kind grandmother's home, whom I've only met once before...20 minutes away?  Just keep smiling.  Plaster. the. smile.  And stop ringing your hands like that.


"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh....kaaaaaaaaaaay.  Yeah.  It will be fine."

Driving back to the house my mind was racing, my heart was pounding, and I had a pit in my stomach.  I was trying to condense a million things she should know into a quick conversation.  

BG = 115.  8 carbs / no insulin...because.  That's all.  Just because.

"Soooooo, here's her bag.  She knows how to use everything.  If she says she's feeling low, she'll need to test her blood sugar and drink a juice.  If she's acting confused or seems too shaky to test, don't worry about the blood sugar part.  Just help her with the juice, and call me."

I proceed to write down my phone numbers, and contemplate if I should include her insurance information, along with my social security number.

"Ok.  Got it.  And we'll be having dinner before she comes home, so don't worry about feeding her later."

I need to sit down.  I'm feeling lightheaded.  Did I hear that correct?  Dinner?  As in...a full meal?  Who is going to count those carbs?

"I'll just make them some macaroni and cheese.  And I have watermelon, and apples, and carrots, and...."

What is she saying?  I'm stuck on "we'll be having dinner".  


She seems like a nice grandmother.  What a pleasant lady.  Blue is a great color for her.  How nice of her to stop by.  


I saw a butterfly once that was the blue color of her sweater.


Nothing that starts with a "D" is on my radar.


Diabetes.


Dinner?  What dinner?  

"Um.  Yeah.  So, there's another thing."

Reaching into the pantry to grab a gluten-free snack for her bag...


"She also has celiac disease.  It means she can't eat anything that contains wheat and a few other things.  She won't be able to have the macaroni you make.  But....  Hmmm....  Well, I just so happen to have this big pan of gluten-free macaroni and cheese already cooked up in my fridge. It's for a party we're going to tomorrow, but I'm sure no one will care if a little corner is missing."

"Okay.  And ribs should be okay, right?  And I have some watermelon and grapes and some other fruit in there too.  I'm so glad she can come play.  L has been asking me to talk to you about it for weeks!  She'll do great."

Turning to look my daughter in the eye...

"You're in charge of diabetes this afternoon.  If you have ANY questions, make sure you call me. Please don't forget to give your insulin, and I need to know if you're going to have fruit with your dinner so we can figure out the carbs.  You should have plenty of juice boxes...and don't try to guess the carbs for anything.  Just call me, and..."

"MOM."

Takes bag.

"I'll be fine."

And then she was gone.

Skipping out to the car, laughing, and smiling with her friend...while I stood in the doorway wondering if I had lost my mind.

A couple hours went by, so I called.

Turns out she was 59 before dinner.

And she was eating fruit, but didn't know how much.

And she needed a reminder to give herself insulin.

And she was 328 two hours after she got home.

But she had a great time.

Baby steps.