THE STORY OF ONE FAMILY'S JOURNEY WITH TYPE 1 DIABETES AND CELIAC DISEASE.
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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Clockwork

It happens every summer.

Life is moving right along, and out of nowhere I wake up one day...

Stunned by the realization that another year since her diagnosis has nearly come and gone.

It's shocking every time.  This wave of emotion wells up inside my heart, and I wonder if we're one year closer to complications.  Yes.  Admittedly, I always wonder that first.  Maybe it's wrong of me.  I don't know.  I've never done this before...each year feels like a new learning curve, and I can't help wondering if we're doing a well enough job of preserving her eyesight, her kidneys, her heart, her everything.

Before long, however, my thoughts shift, and I begin to wonder other things.  Like what the next year will bring...will she decide this is the time she's ready to lose her pump pack, and stash the pump in her pocket?  At this time next year, what aspects of her care will she be doing that she isn't doing now?   Will she start becoming annoyed with her sugar checks, and will I start to become a nuisance?

I don't cry anymore.  In that first year or two, I cried a lot.  Each year that passes now, however, I'm finding that the tears just aren't there.  It's more matter-of-fact now.  I can recite her diagnosis story as if nearly losing her life at the age of 24 months was as simple as a common runny nose.

I even have a "shorter version" these days:

"Around her second birthday we noticed that she was saturating through her diapers at an alarming pace.  The doctor told me not to worry because we don't have a history of diabetes in our family.  Three weeks later she nearly lost her life, and was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.  She'll need insulin by injection or a pump for the rest of her life.  Unless there is a cure."

See?

It answers all the major ones.  You know..."How old was she when she got it?"..."How did you know something was wrong?"..."Do you have diabetes in your family?"..."Will she grow out of it?"..."What type does she have?"..."Can she control it with diet or pills?"

It's all routine now.

The day-to-day grind.  Prescription hassles.  Insurance anxiety.  Endo visits.

And, like the clockwork...the emotions I encounter at this time of year.

Taken while climbing a mountain trail on our recent vacation.

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10 comments:

  1. It is hard but I would think it is harder without. The hassle makes it that much more worth it. www.thediabeticcamper.blogspot.com

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  2. You've answered one of my questions perfectly...will 'that time of year' come and go at some point without the hugeness that it holds now.
    It's bittersweet, but I think it's just one of those 'time healing the wound' things.

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  3. Your feelings remind me of the grief process I went through after my dad died 16 years ago. The grief is always still there, but not as severe. You can talk about it and deal with the emotions more matter of factly, but it's stil there.

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  4. The Diaversary is always a hard time. I heard recently that a fellow PWD was celebrating hers with a piece of cake. I think I may try that, seems like a nice way to celebrate how far you've come.

    Glad we have the blogosphere to connect and stay strong. :)

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  5. In a way, I like that Justin was dx'd right around Leighanna's birthday. Even though THAT year it kinda over shadowed her big day... I have not allowed it to since. I have focused more on the celebration of her rather than what happened that week. Avoidance I guess, but it has worked.

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  6. Happy Diaversary (or not) : ) I'm glad I've gotten to know you, and I'm sure there are lots more people who feel the same way, so it's not all bad. I do it some years too-just let it pass by, with no celebration. It's not special, it's just nice to have made it another year. : )

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  7. whew...it's going to be gone before you know it, then you'll forget about it until this time next year. ((Hugs)) I know this time is rough, we're here :)

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  8. Yep...same-same. I have my abbreviated version of Joe's diagnosis story too. And...me too...I wonder when he will start stashing the "goods" in his pants (that sounded a bit dirty...didn't it?). xo

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  9. I look forward to the day that there are no more tears. I feel like I am getting closer --- this year will be year 2. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm so glad to know that it gets easier --- I need to work on my abbreviated story so that don't become a blubbering mess.

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  10. Lovely picture, heavy post, thanks for sharing.

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While I'm happy to share our experiences with what works, and what doesn't work, for the management of Type 1 Diabetes and Celiac Disease in our house, please do not mistake anything you read here for medical advice. Decisions regarding your/your child's health care should be made only with the assistance of your medical care team. Use any information from this blog at your own risk.