This is the song I mention later in the post. If you'd like, hit play and listen while you read...remember...It won't be like this for long, my friends.
"Do you check my sugar every night when I'm sleeping?"
"Yes, I do."
"I just want you to know something. Being your mommy is very special to me. Of all the mommies in the world, God gave YOU to ME! I want to do a really good job at being your mommy, because I love you very much. It doesn't bother me to check your sugar when you're sleeping. I want to do it! I want to make sure you stay strong and healthy so I can see your beautiful smile every day! I love it when you smile."
And off she went.
I didn't think much of this little exchange. Over the past several years, we've had many brief exchanges like this. Surface chat. We scratch the surface of deeper feelings...and then she moves on to contemplate our little discussions in her own way.
So yesterday, I was gathering laundry and found this when walked into her room...
At first glance, you might not notice anything out of the ordinary.
But there's a note on that little orange chair.
"Sit here every nitegh mommy ♥♥"
I left everything exactly as I found it, and made a mental note to ask her about it after school. Somehow our time got lost in spelling words, swim lessons, and dinner. Just as Jason was getting home, I had to rush out to my Wednesday evening BodyBack Workout.
I worked it, my friends. I've known for a long time that my arms are a physical weakness of mine. Even when I was in the best shape of my life, strength in my arms was still a challenge. Well, last night we did arms. Boy did we DO ARMS! At one point, I was nearly crying because I wanted to push myself to do one more rep, one more push up, one more whatever...I just wanted to push harder! The scale didn't show a loss -- in fact it showed a 4 oz gain. I was trying not to be discouraged, but that stupid 4 oz REALLY bugged me.
That being said, once again, I felt stronger. Stronger than last week. I noticed little things...like working for an hour with 10 lb weights didn't feel impossible this time. And push ups felt easier. And my legs didn't feel as crampy after sprinting.
There's other stuff too...like when I look in the mirror, things don't look as "jiggly". Probably not to the rest of the world, but I'm noticing small, subtle changes. I'm also feeling something emotional changing as well. I don't know how to explain it, really. I can sit down and pour my heart here, but I'll keep it all stuffed down deep if you and I were sitting together in person. There are some places that I just "don't go" when I'm physically around other people. I can talk shop with the best of them...but I'll clam up and sit quietly if the conversation starts to touch on stuff below the surface. There's stuff down there that I know will evoke tears, so I just pour it out here to spare everyone around me from having to deal with my emotional ball of yarn.
Anyway, last night, when the workout was over, Kelly handed out the pictures we had given her of each of us with our children, and then played a song about how quickly children grow up. She wanted to remind us that it's okay to have a messy house and laundry piled to the ceiling now and then. We ought to focus on our children and the time we have with them before they're grown and off living their own lives. We ought not to feel guilty about taking this time for ourselves to be healthy, because being healthy helps us be better wives, mothers, daughters, and friends to the people we care about. If the house and laundry has to suffer, so be it. Time passes quickly, and all of that stuff will get done eventually.
So, while I was laying there with the song and my picture, I couldn't help but to think about the little chair and the note Sugar left me next to her bed. She wanted me to have somewhere to sit when I check her numbers at night. That little seat was a gift she had prepared just for me out of love and gratitude.
When it was time to tip toe into her room for the first of her overnight checks, I noticed that the chair had been moved.
I sat there watching her sleep. Stroking her hair. Listening to her breathe. I checked her blood sugar, then kissed her nose, and whispered in her ear...
"Thank you for my special seat, Baby Girl. I will love you forever."
Body Back is a results based workout program for moms of any age. Inspired by the DVD series, it offers high intensity, interval workouts along with before and after fitness assessments, a nutrition plan, coaching and support in a motivating and inspirational program. The workouts have been clinically proven in a University research study to help moms lose the weight and get their pre-baby body back. Moms all over the country are achieving results that they never dreamed possible. 100% of the weight lost was pure body fat! You will see that anything is possible!