I'm looking around my house and thinking of all the things that need my attention.
Baseboards, blinds, ceiling fans, hidden clutter. I do okay keeping up with the day to day stuff, but all these "now and then tasks" are mounting.
Man. How am I ever going to get to all of this?
I mean, I can probably figure out some sort of a time management plan to deal with it...quite honestly, it's the motivation that's killing me.
Admittedly, finding the motivation to deal with tasks that will inevitably pile on top of me again is hard. Sure, I'll clean out the junk drawer. And the closet. And dust the fans.
But it's not like it'll change anything.
The junk will re-accumulate.
The supplies will still dominate our only hall closet.
The dust won't go away.
And, soon enough, I'll be blogging about a to do list that I can't find the motivation to deal with.
Full circle, ya know?
Sometimes, I feel that way about diabetes. When I notice a pattern creeping in...like lows before lunch or highs 2 hours after bedtime -- OR BOTH (as is our situation right now), I cringe.
Because it means I have to figure something out. I have to stop and think. I have to troubleshoot a million variables, half of which I'm probably not even aware of.
I don't wanna.
I don't wanna think about all that right now.
Having my brain in a constant state of alert, combined with perpetual exhaustion, and anxious feelings about making decisions regarding her insulin needs seem to suck all the motivation for the rest of life right out of me.
But I know it's not an option.
I see my hardworking husband...I see her smiling face as she twirls through the kitchen, pretending to be a ballerina...I see her little sisters looking at her with adoration and vice versa...I see three little girls who are growing up right before my eyes, and I am grateful for the gift of being his wife and their mother.
And, ya know what?
All the other stuff will just have to wait a little longer.
Because if I only have this much energy leftover, I am sure as heck not wasting it on THAT!
While I'm happy to share our experiences with what works, and what doesn't work, for the management of Type 1 Diabetes and Celiac Disease in our house, please do not mistake anything you read here for medical advice. Decisions regarding your/your child's health care should be made only with the assistance of your medical care team. Use any information from this blog at your own risk.