More Than a dMom

On July 25, 2005 my life changed forever.

That was the day my daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, about three weeks after her second birthday.

It's been almost eight years, and I can't remember the last time more than 30 minutes went by without a fleeting thought related to her diagnosis.  What is her number? How many units are left in her pump? How many carbs will she be eating? How should I adjust her insulin to accommodate exercise? How will test anxiety affect her blood sugar and, in turn, affect her grades? Will the desert heat spoil the insulin in her pump?

It's an exhaustive list of variables with no end in sight. The basal thinking has become white noise in my mind.

In the time since her diagnosis,  I've found myself stumbling over a series of steps...all the while, staring at the girl in the mirror, and wondering what happened to the girl left behind.

I'm pleased to report that a new girl has been emerging over the past few years, and I'd like to introduce you to her...

She likes loves candy (that really isn't new, but I figured I should own it), and her new sparkly pink cell phone case (thank you, Mr. Rose!!!!). She used to be uptight if anything in the house was out of place, but now she's content living with (a little) clutter. She loves her family deeply, and tries hard to embrace her role as wife and mother while learning to love life in the desert. She's also found a few hobbies that have nothing at all to do with diabetes advocacy:

She is a sharp shooter.

Well, kinda.

By "sharp shooter" I mean that I can shoot a gun, and hit the target a lot of the time. Going to the range is actually kind of cool -----> once you get over the fear that everyone around you (all of whom are also holding loaded weapons) will have a crazy moment and open fire.

She is a runner.

Okay...that's not true.

If you've been around Candy Hearts for awhile, you might remember how hard I tried (LORD KNOWS I TRIED!) to become a runner.

Yet again...it didn't work out.

But, lately, I've taken a liking to participating in fun runs...you know...themed 5ks -- like the Rave Run, the Fire Fly Run, and the Bubble Run. (On that note, saying I'm liking "fun runs" might be slightly deceiving, because I'm not actually running them. I mean, I run some of them...but...I walk {a lot} too).

Mostly I love that this is something I can do with my girls. All three of them really enjoy running, so I'm having fun making these memories with them. (Nevermind that I need a more experienced running pal to join us so the girls can run at a pace they prefer. I just can't keep up with them.)

She is a Dog Whisperer

Okay...not really.

But I do enjoy walking my dog.

Does that sound simple?

Sorry, but it's true!

I love the fresh air, and watching her natural canine instincts as she interacts with nature. Her paws click along on the ground, and it adds a relaxing rhythm to our strolls together.

She's in the running for the Women's MMA.

Alright. That's a flat out lie.

But I have started taking some cardio-kickoxing classes at Knockout Fitness, and I'm loving it!

Here...let me show you...

WAIT!!!

Remember I'm new at this.  Very new, actually.

And...while I do appreciate my curves, I'm trying to tone them up a bit.

Also, it isn't easy to put this "out there", soooooo...go easy on me...my point is to demonstrate 
that there's plenty going on in my world which has 

nothing to do with my daughter's diabetes.

Did you see it?

My muscle?

Here...let me show you...

Welcome to the gun show :)

I volunteer in the classrooms, and go on field trips. I have a never ending mountain of laundry waiting to be folded, and a sticky kitchen floor.  I stress out over what to make for dinner, and do my best to get it on the table so we can sit down to eat as a family. I organize play dates, and try to help my girls learn how to be a good friend to others. I take the kids to the park and we go to the pool. I look for sales at the grocery store, and try not to spend money carelessly.  We have Monopoly game nights, spontaneous home manicures, and my walls are decorated with their masterpieces.  I have a career as a Registered Nurse, and love it when Mr. Rose flies over the house.

The truth is that I'm really just an ordinary mom, and managing my daughter's diabetes has become an ordinary part of my life.  I may never be a sharp-shooting, marathon-running, kickboxing champion...but that's okay.

I am a dMom.  (Check it: little d, BIG M!)

I'm doing the best I can, and won't apologize for the effort I put into anything.

Diabetes included :)

More than a D Mom was inspired by Hallie and introduced to the Diabetes Online Community earlier this week.  On Tuesday, Meri shared her inner heart, and yesterday Lora talked about guilt, balancing her career, and the demands of diabetes. Tomorrow Tracy takes center stage, so stay tuned!