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| 1st BG of 2012 |
To be honest, I'm never sure what I'll find.
Sometimes she's on the top bunk. Sometimes the bottom. Sometimes she's made a bed for herself on the floor. Sometimes I have to find her under a pile of blankets and stuffed animals...other times, she's pushed everything off the bed. The newest thing appears to be her little "tents" -- blanket strung erratically from the top bunk, overlapping at various angles. On the weekends, one or both of her sisters could be in bed with her. Then I have to double check that I'm about to test the right kid. Lights on. Lights off. Whatever.
Usually I creep in...poke...beep...and then...
Brainstorm.
What was she last night at the same time? How did she wake up this morning? Did she have an active day? Should I boost with juice? Should I correct? Should I only give a partial correction? Should I do a temp basal instead? Do these questions ever end?
On most nights, I see the number, and go through the self-made imaginary decision algorithm faster than the speed of light. Sometimes, however, I have to think about it for a minute. Lately, when she senses that I'm lingering, she's been asking...
"Mom, what am I?"
It's new. She used to sleep through the entire routine. But, suddenly, she's more aware. Inquisitive.
She wants to know what her number is, and then she wants to know our plan.
"Are you going to get some juice?" -or - "I should drink some water" -or- "Can I just eat a snack?"
We talk about it briefly. Then I kiss her forehead, and tell her that I'll take care of it. I run my fingers through her hair, and assure her that it's okay to drift back to her dreams.
It's in these moments that I realize just how much she's growing up. No longer immune to the normalcy of overnight finger pokes and meters beeping, she recognizes now that each number requires some level of thought process.
She's only 8, and she has to live with this for a long time. I don't want her losing sleep over diabetes.
At least not yet.
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Very touching post.
ReplyDeleteI so love this...what a great team you make!
ReplyDeleteI loved this post. I hear you on all the stuff in the bed...EA is into mobiles hanging from the bottom of her sister's bunk bed. So, I'm usually checking her BG while My Little Pony cutouts are flopping into my face or tangling me up!
ReplyDeleteI see how EA is also growing up. In class she now silences her own Dexcom alarm and is instructed to tell the Teacher if it says LOW. I also want to bear the burden of D as long as possible.
Oh the midnight conversations that go on in my head!! Just last night daddy did the 3am check and tapped me ever so gently because his conversation in his head was confusing and he needed advice :). Sometimes those overnight numbers look like a good number, but taking all things into consideration require a little juicing up. So glad we decided to juice her up last night, even though she was 120 (which we may not do on another night with other circumstances)...she woke up at 71 this am!
ReplyDeleteawww she's growing up!! THat's great that she wants to be a part. You are such a wonderful D mom :)
ReplyDeleteThey learn through osmosis; they absorb a lot of what you are doing; they watch you and pick up much more than you think they do. I know you want to handle it all for her. But she is away from you at school all day, then later on she will spend a lot of time with friends. I would rather have her fully aware and thinking, questioning then trusting a nurse or other Mom to do it. You must be proud of her. She is starting to take responsibility herself. Even though you didn't ask. Even though you would rather shield her a few more years. For her, it's time.
ReplyDeleteShe's growing up! I do dislike the loss of sleep though. Grace does it to be sometimes, not all the time, but I can tell the next day when she has been up. I tell her I will take care of it and part of my heart wants that always to be so, and part of me is happy she's growing up. Hard stuff.
ReplyDeleteI really like this story. It gives a whole insight on how awesome D Moms are.
ReplyDeletewe are living the same life Wendy! I just had the same midnight conversation with Emma the other night. Sweet girls...I wish we could slow time down and they wouldn't grow up so quickly.
ReplyDeletethis is a really great post, kinda wraps up what d is emotionally and all=) I always wake up when my mom tests me (actually I test me, cause I'm awake) most of the time its annoying but every so often its all worth it cause we get to just sit and talk while we wait for good numbers to return and no one can distract us =)
ReplyDeleteI know all about that brainstorming late at night! Mary Claire still (usually) sleeps through her midnight checks, but if I stick a straw in her mouth, she just automatically sucks.
ReplyDeleteI guess we should be thankful we are always working our brain? Keeps us mentally flexible? ; )
You have such a sweet daughter, I am hoping this is just a small moment in her growth where she isn't sleeping as deep...or if she does wake when she's low that is a good sign, too. The odd thing to me has been that my mother-in-law said that from day one TJ woke when he was low, she did night checks, but whenever he was up before she got there she knew he was low...I wonder if that is just the natural progression of knowing how your body feels with d. Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteWendy---Matthew does the same thing...if he wakes up. He once told me that after I left the room, he checked the meter because he wanted to know.
ReplyDeleteNow I always whisper the number to him, so he'll know.
And the questions....they never end for me either. Especially at night or shortly after a meal (if he's high or low. I start thinking...did I measure right...did I add in the milk...did I miss something!
Yes, I wish they didn't wake up for the night time checks. She used to be able to down a whole box of juice without waking up, now she seems more aware. She turned 8 in December.
ReplyDeleteThis really moved me as it's my routine, and I guess many others' too, every night. My little one is five and a half and points a finger out of the duvet and rolls around as I search for his pump among the bedsheets. Sometimes he puckers up for juice when he isn't even going to get any, it's just his still-deeply-asleep-response to me administering to him. They trust us so much I catch my breath at the beauty of it.
ReplyDeleteMy mom sometimes wakes me up at night with BG checks, and it's all quiet and evrything... I usually m half asleep still. When I was diagnosed at first, I was super short on sleep. One night, during a low, I screamed that she was "TOO STUPID TO CHECK MY BG!!!!!" Thankfully now, the most exciting thing is just my dog coming in to smell the test kit :)
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