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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

DBlogWeek: Day 2 - Letter Writing Day

Dear PW(T1)D Bloggers,

Her numbers were high.
And low.
And I couldn't figure out how to balance everything in between.

There was an expectation that I would automatically know what to do.  I had been a R.N. for several years, and people would say stuff like "Well, thank goodness you're a nurse!"  or "You already know all about that stuff."

But I was completely lost.

I didn't understand.
Her numbers didn't make sense.
Nothing made sense.

I was afraid of never being able to learn everything I would need to know in order to help her thrive.  I was afraid of the nights...and her naps.

She randomly passed out all the time.  Sudden, unpredictable lows left my baby with horrible bumps and bruises all over her little head and face.  Maybe she knew they were coming, but just couldn't tell me?  Or maybe I just couldn't figure out how to recognize them?

I don't know.

About three years ago, I sat down to an empty computer screen.  I was beaten up, defeated, and intimidated by a disease that seemed to consume my life.

One by one, I discovered a multitude of blogs written by adults with T1D.
Slowly, I began sensing fear being replaced with empowerment.
Confusion replaced with knowledge.
Despair replaced by hope.

Among a zillion other things, you taught me what lows feel like.  You taught me that it's common to want to eat everything in the fridge at times.  You taught me that highs happen -- even when you're all grown up, and "in control".  (By the way, you also taught me that being "in control" is a fantasy.)  You have helped me avoid the diabetes guilt traps that seem to lurk around every corner.  You reminded me to Blame Diabetes when it feels like everything is going to hell in a handbasket.  You've shared your struggles, your victories, and given me a glimpse into what the future might hold for my girl.

For all of that, I'm incredibly grateful.

In the beginning, I wasn't sure where -- or if -- I would fit in.  I wondered if I was an outsider, because I'm just "the mom", and not living with T1 myself.  I worried that all of my flaws would be exposed for the entire world see, and was secretly afraid it would be obvious to everyone else what I was doing wrong when managing my daughter's diabetes.

But you guys have embraced me, and helped me find a comfortable place in the DOC.  Today, I have a story to tell, and have been blessed with the opportunity to help other families when they find themselves in the same dark place I sat not long ago.  Today, I find myself surrounded by healthy, happy T1 adults who have careers, families, and dreams for the future.

The funny thing is that many of us are around the same age (You know, give or take 20 years!).  While some of you may see me as a mother -- and I see many of you as a child who has grown up with type 1 diabetes -- we're really just people living this thing called LIFE.  If we were all at #dprom rocking out to Bl√ľnt Lancet, I wouldn't be there as a chaperon....I'd be there with my Honey, causing as much trouble as the rest of you.

In the end, I've discovered so much more than confidence in managing my daughter's T1D.

I've discovered amazing friendships.

Thank you.

Thank you more than you could ever know.

Rock On.

This post is part of the 2011 D Blog Week.  To see all of the posts on today's topic, click HERE.

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  1. This post made me smile.

    I could not even leave a comment on a blog when I first saw one a month after Joe was diagnosed. I was reading A Shot In The Dark...Sandra's son was named "Joseph" I felt a STRONG connection between type 1 and the "name" thing. I tried to comment...couldn't...gave-up...went off to be "Alone" in my deep dark tunnel of "D"espair and then re-emerged a more rough and tumble me...then a couple of years later started BB and met you, the girls, and the PWDs and am a MUCH BETTER mom, pancreas, and person for it.

    LOVE this letter to these amazing human beings.

    Sorry for the long comment. xoxo

  2. I have gained SO much from these bloggers, too...and from YOU!!!

  3. Thanks for this rockn post, Wendy! Not only did it make me physically smile, but my heart was doing the same when reading your words. I echo how you feel, and am so glad to have had the opportunity to connect with you and this entire community. Great letter!

  4. I know I have learned so much from you as well! I am so happy you are part of the DOC and I look forward to reading more :)

  5. Love this. SO many of us are so grateful for these bloggers. It has helped us all learn SO much!

  6. wonderful post, I enjoy reading every single blog post by all the great bloggers out there. There is always so much to learn and experience through someone else eyes.

  7. I would love to cause trouble with you any time! :)

    This made me smile, so big. Thank you.

  8. :) we should totally throw a DProm... in VEGAS!!

  9. Vegas baby!! Sorry I had to.

    I too found the DOC thru adult type 1s via twitter but same difference. I learned so much and I dont know where I would be without them.

    And you.

  10. It's a d-circle...
    As an adult beginner at this d-stuff, I found the mom (and dad) blogs the very most help as I struggled to learn WHAT to do and WHEN to do it.
    So - Yay for the parents of cwds who blog!

  11. I have to echo your sentiments. They have taught me so much too!

  12. Wendy and all d-parents,
    You have made such a difference in my journey as well. You give the support that means so much to me. A kind word, an understanding of how hard it is, even a cheering up when things are dark. It's so important to know that there are people out there who know! Thank you!!!

  13. I've only recently been reading the blogs of PWDs and am loving it! Great idea for a letter!

  14. It is such a blessing to be able to learn from PWD and other D-moms. I appreciate the time that each one takes out of their day to share their story.

  15. It's such a circle...I could say the same thing about parents of CWD that you said about adult PWDs!

  16. Loved your letter. I find it amazing, the challenging things D-mom's go through for their kids. You are our heroes! Thanks for sharing!:)

  17. I have to agree with this too! I've learned an amazing amount and gained a whole new perspective from PWD bloggers!

  18. Beautiful! It really does prove that we are all the same, touched by D, united as friends, and circled with hope that one day the people we care about will have a cure! Love you friend! :)

  19. Awesome letter!!!!! I'm so so grateful to be able to call you my friend. And you absolutely would not be the dprom chaperone - you'd need to be right in there dancing with us. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm older than you are, so maybe I'd have to be the chaperone!!


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While I'm happy to share our experiences with what works, and what doesn't work, for the management of Type 1 Diabetes and Celiac Disease in our house, please do not mistake anything you read here for medical advice. Decisions regarding your/your child's health care should be made only with the assistance of your medical care team. Use any information from this blog at your own risk.