Tiara was strapped to my chest as I held Sugar's little hand, and pushed the stroller filled with all of our carry-on baggage: the diaper bag, the "stuff to do" bag to keep a 2 year old busy on a 6 hour flight, the diabetes bag, the "various snacks and other miscellaneous items" bag.
I was sad to leave the place I had come to love as my hometown, but knew it was time to move on. We were facing the loss of our health insurance with a brand new baby, and a newly diagnosed toddler with Type 1 Diabetes. There was so much chaos and fear of the unknown at that time in our lives.
Admittedly, I was afraid of the desert.
Cactus, dirt, and bugs. What would we become?
I've resisted this place. Yet I've embraced this place.
Oh, how I wish we had a wide open space where my children could run and climb trees! Instead we're crammed between 2 houses, and they must play in the street. Oh, how I wish there were Fall leaves to rake into a pile just so we could jump in them! Instead we have rocks in the front hard, and plants with thorns. Oh, how I wish so many things...but, instead, we have what we have.
We have a great school the girls can ride their bikes to.
With a great school nurse who takes impeccable care of Sugar.
A school nurse who, by the way, understands I have a "numbers thing"...so she takes the time to send an email like this, knowing that 123mg/dl is my MOST favorite BG ever...
We have pools to swim in year round, and beautiful outdoor weather...well, most of the time.
Yes.
I've resisted this place.
But I've embraced this place.
This is the place they will call HOME.
And so I shall put up some pictures...I've said this before, but still haven't done it. I only have 1 picture of my girls hanging up in our house. I've had a hard time accepting the desert as a home of my own. It's just "a place"...until the pictures are hung.
We've been here for six years.
I heard this song for the first time the other day, and it describes exactly the way God was speaking to my heart when we were transitioning a few years ago.
And it reminded me that it's time.
Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause i’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
Cause i’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
Cause i’m going to make this place your home
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I struggle with this too...we've been in Texas for 11 years and I never decorated the house or apartment we lived in before this one. When we were in SF a few weeks ago, my heart broke at all the fun OUTDOOR experiences my kids were having, but don't get where we live. My heart still pines away for the west coast, be it SF or Vancouver and I'm not sure I'll ever be okay with living here. It feels like I'm merely existing instead of living.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, glad you've been able to embrace your home.
The desert does sound very different, but the year round swimming and nice weather most of the time..... that's a great perk. I would feel the same way, but glad you have finally been able to adjust.
ReplyDeleteI have lived in Florida for 7 years now and I know it's not home. It has all the same benefits that you describe with weather and the rest, but there is something that still leaves me feeling unsettled.
ReplyDeleteAwesome that you're able to enjoy where you are :) You're so positive! I know I'm picky and anywhere too different from the places I've lived and I feel out of place. (And random comment... My friend was semi- in love with Philip Philips a couple moths ago. She watches a lot of American idol lol.) You guys are awesome :D
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