Yesterday we gave ourselves and our loved ones a big pat on the back for one thing we are great at. Today let’s look at the flip-side. We probably all have one thing we could try to do better. Why not make today the day we start working on it. No judgments, no scolding, just sharing one small thing we can improve so the DOC can cheer us on!
Confession: I like lows better than highs.
I know. I KNOW! I am fully aware of how urgent a low blood sugar is. I realize that swift action is necessary, and you have to carry around a source of fast-acting sugar ALL. OF. THE. TIME. in order to be ready to manage a low blood sugar at any given moment. I am absolutely aware of how devastating a low can be if left untreated, and lows totally creep me out when one strikes while she's not in my care.
Lows bite.
BIG TIME.
But I still hate highs more.
Random, unexplained highs drive me batty. Site? Skunked insulin? Illness looming? Gonna grow? Stressed? Upset? Spelling test? WHAT???? WHAT IS THE PROBLEM????????
So, here's the thing...I have a HORRIBLE habit of trying to "give a site a chance".
Look. If my kid's BG is 400 (ehum, PLUS), and there is seriously NO REASON that can possibly explain such an offense, then I need to yank that schmuck, and start again. Period. There is no reason to be milking a stinkin' pump site.
DO YOU HEAR THAT, WENDY ROSE???? NO REASON! NONE!
I feel okay correcting a random 300-something ONCE to see how things go, but I am really, seriously, honestly opposed to giving the surprise 400+'s a chance. That is where I draw the line for us, in our journey with diabetes.
For realz.
Experience has taught me that sudden, unexplained trips to the 400+ Mountains means there's more to the story than meets the eye.
And I may never, ever, ever figure out what it is.
Ever.
I have to be okay with that.
The not knowing.
In my core, I know what I need to do...so WHY DON'T I JUST DO IT????
It's not like it happens often, but seriously. Why wait around? Let's get cracking!
Ohhhhhhh...but what if I change the site, and things still don't settle down??? Has that 50u of insulin in her pump gone bad? Overheated? Whatever?
(Cuz I really don't want to waste perfectly good, precious, life-sustaining insulin. The only way I can tell if the insulin is the problem is to rule out other issues first.)
Sigh.
THEN I gotta get new insulin, THEN I gotta fill up a new cartridge, THEN I gotta blah, blah, blah...
And what if THAT doesn't help?
And now we're, like, 6 hours away from the first concerning number.
And I'm still hoping beyond hope that her site will prove to me everything is okay. The insulin will suddenly whip things back into shape, and everything will turn out rainbows and unicorns.
UGH!!!!
I can't stand the "decision tree".
So, rather than face it head on, change the site, and start problem-solving immediately to determine if the insulin can be saved or not, I shrug my shoulders and try a bolus.
WHY???? WHY DO I DO THAT? Now the insulin, which might or might not be potent, might or might not be circulating, and I can't change my mind. Once I deliver the bolus, I have no choice but to wait and see how things turn out a couple hours later.
I have now potentially set us back about 2 hours in the race down the mountain!!!
I have GOT to get better at this.
I need to respond to a surprise 400+ by changing the site, and moving on!
It needs to be automatic.
Spontaneous.
Mechanical.
A reflex.
PERIOD!!
Is there a Facebook page for this?
Chronic-High-BG-Maybe-The-Bolus-Will-Work Syndrome?
A 12-step? Hypnotherapy? An accountability partner?
Change the site, Wendy Rose.
Just do it.
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OMGosh I think you just gave me an anxiety attack reading that. I totally do the same thing over here...the mind games, the over thinking, the second guessing...I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteyep, same same over here too! glad to read i'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteI milk sites because the way the system works here, I don't have a lot of extra pump supplies.
ReplyDeleteAwesome post... I could HEAR the frustration :)
AHHH! My confession: I like LOWS better too and it's for a completely messed up reason that I'm embarrassed to admit. To me, lows & highs are both "mistakes" that I need to fix. But at least a low helps lower my next a1c. I know that's a horrible way of thinking of it, but I do think that regularly.
ReplyDeleteAnd because of this I react the way you do to the highs...When I start to feel low I wait around for a while and hope that some how my body will find some random pocket of stored glucose it just forgot was there. So silly and unreasonable.
Thanks for sharing!!
I know you probably don't want to celebrate the reasons for that first picture, but it's perhaps the best visual statement on a high blood sugar I've ever seen. Oh my goodness. It's the look in her eyes that makes it.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree.
ReplyDeleteLove this.
ReplyDeleteI am in love with that picture! So very awesome!
ReplyDeleteOH MANNNN!! I do the exact same thing!!! I need help! "Hi, my name is Amy and I am a sufferer of "Chronic-High-BG-Maybe-The-Bolus-Will-Work Syndrome""...all together now..."Hi Amy!"
ReplyDeleteThis is great! Glad I'm not alone in my struggle! I have the same thoughts on lows verse highs! We just started the pump 4 weeks ago and I find myself trying to milk a site because its only been 2 days and we were told 3 days for site changes. Of course the fact that I nightmares the night before infusion set changes because they are so horrible probably feeds my "Chronic-High-BG-Maybe-The-Bolus-Will-Work-Syndrome."
ReplyDeleteOh,,, The worst thing in life is having to make (painful) decision! Thanks for sharing a 'syndrome' I, too, share. I personally hate the 'insulin build-up' that decides to hit after the bolus that's encapsulated has figured out how to break free....
ReplyDeleteI just went through four infusion sets in four days, not believing the insulin itself had gone bad (I *did* have a 40someting low before this 96-hour unexplainable high, so the insulin must be working, somehow). I'm with you, I hate throwing out potentially good stuff, but I always end up regretting it when I try to fix a problem by the bolus/rinse/repeat method, and it doesn't work.
ReplyDeleteI also agree that I'd much rather treat a low than a high. It yields quicker results. Tastes better, too.